Just Wait 'Til You Hear Him Do Voices

I was feeling like an a-hole—and legitimately so—for not yet having read Dreams from My Father, but now I'm quite proud of myself for holding out. A of all, the story is even more dynamic now that Barry's officially our main man than it was even six months ago—to think that he was talking about change the same way in f-ing 1995 (if you recall, that year's hit singles included Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise," Oasis's "Wonderwall," and Deep Blue Something's "Breakfast at Tiffany's") is, in a word, BANANAS. B of all, I'm not so much reading as I am listening. Almost a full year ago for sure, my friend P told me about Audible, which is basically the Netflix of books-on-tape—well, excuse me, since I've identified that it's NOT the mid-nineties anymore: audio books.

I mean, seven hours of Barack Obama talking for a mere $7 (introductory rates...gotta love 'em until they F you)??? Amazing, especially on Monday mornings when you don't want to relinquish the down comforter that is shielding you from the world, let alone walk to work in peep-toe shoes (dumb). It's hard to be lazy with all that YES, WE CAN-ness triumph plugged into your ears.

And, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to become an Audible addict. One of the best parts is that, unlike my Netflix queue that eats away at my SOUL, the audio book selection is somewhat limited. Yes, there's lots of stuff, but you can't get, like, every single book at a bookstore. And that's a good thing.

Next up: Sarah Vowell's The Partly Cloudy Patriot as narrated by Stephen Colbert, Conan O'Brien, David Cross, etc. and Richard Price's Lush Life in the voice of Bobby Cannavale.

Because Sometimes There's Nothing More Stressful Than Picking Out Placecards

An article in Sunday Styles this week hit upon a topic that I'd been pondering lately: Is there blowout wedding backlash? As the story puts it, elopements are are the rise because future misters and missuses 1) feel bad pouring so much money into an eight-hour affair right about now and 2) dread wedding planning has (d)evolved into this insanity-inducing affair heightened by books that tell you that—seven months before the sacred day—you should start picking out favors for your bachelorette party. RIGHT. Because that's what matters. Plus, there's the intimacy factor. Per the article:

"Elopement can be a more intimate and romantic experience than a traditional wedding, according to Lynn Beahan, an author, with Scott Shaw, of 'Let’s Elope' (Bantam, 2001), a compendium of elopement information. 'It’s you declaring your love to somebody else just in front of that one other person,' said Ms. Beahan, who eloped in Vermont in 2001. 'As a married couple you don’t spend the rest of your life making big decisions in front of an audience.'

Now, eloping seems as teeeensy bit extreme as pissing off the parents is a bit, er, undesirable. But I have noticed more City Hall weddings lately, and there's something old-fashiony and charming about that in my opinion. As I see it, the surge was started not just by Carrie and Big in the SATC (where she wore a tooootally retro dress...I digress) but by the short-lived CA gay marriage boom (see: Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan). A lot of the couples that said vows had been together forevs and likely didn't feel the need to do a whole 300-person affair.