Finally! Those 150 Ks.

Vanity Fair breaks down the (hypothetical) Palin mall madness:

Ralph Lauren Klondike jacket: $4,598
Ralph Lauren Collection jacket: $4,798
Ralph Lauren Collection wool turtleneck: $855
Armani Collezioni cashmere jacket: $1,925
Armani Collezioni blouse: $755
Armani Collezioni skirt: $960
Armani Collezioni twill jersey jacket: $1,325
Armani Collezioni twill jersey skirt: $715
Armani Collezioni jersey jacket: $1,635
Armani Collezioni jersey tank jacket: $1,065
Giorgio Armani quilted jacket: $4,375
Loro Piana chinchilla and cashmere sweater coat: $5,395
Loro Piana Dolce Vita cashmere turtleneck: $755
Loro Piana velvet pants: $675
Loro Piana Promenade storm trench: $3,695
Dior Leather trim jacket: $2,385
Dior Leather trim skirt: $1,375
Valentino origami front dress: $3,750
Valentino cashmere jacket: $3,990
Valentino jacket that Palin wore at the 2008 Republican National Convention: $4,990
Valentino skirt that she wore at the R.N.C.: $1,490
Dolce & Gabbana herringbone pants: $950
Dolce & Gabbana herringbone vested jacket: $3,595
Dolce & Gabbana chambray blouse: $395
Nina Ricci piped jacket: $3,190
Nina Ricci leaf-print blouse: $2,290
Nina Ricci piped skirt: $1,290
Chanel suit: $11,755
Carine Gilson bra: $580
Carine Gilson briefs: $275
Carine Gilson chemise: $968
Wolford Body shirt: $370
Wolford bodysuit: $220
Wolford stockings: $46
Fogal cashmere stockings: $365
Louis Vuitton Alzer 80 suitcase: $6,550
Hermès carry-on suitcase: $4,400
VBH ostrich weekender bag: $6,975
Christian Louboutin simple pumps: $575
Christian Louboutin croc pumps: $4,300
Manolo Blahnik pumps: $595
Valentino Histoire tote bag: $1,795
YSL Muse bag: $1,295
Chanel large classic flap bag: $2,875
Valextra croc handbag: $20,000
Valextra croc wallet: $2,000
Hermès silk scarf: $375
Bulgari sunglasses: $430
Kazuo Kawasaki glasses: $375
Patek Philippe watch: $22,000

TOTAL: $152,335

There more on Todd's spending too, not that anyone cares.

It All Comes Back To Reese Witherspoon

Not that we've had a real break from Palin news since the election or anything, but for the first time in a couple weeks I've read something smart about the woman (and Hillary) that has nothing to do with Africa (the continent!) or NAFTA (US, Canada, Mexico!). This, from Amanda Fortini's NY Mag story about the female stereotypes that were reinforced this year:

"In the grand Passion play that was this election, both Clinton and Palin came to represent—and, at times, reinforce—two of the most pernicious stereotypes that are applied to women: the bitch and the ditz. Clinton took the first label, even though she tried valiantly, some would say misguidedly, to run a campaign that ignored gender until the very end. 'Now, I’m not running because I’m a woman,' she would say. 'I’m running because I think I’m the best-qualified and experienced person to hit the ground running.' She was highly competent, serious, diligent, prepared (sometimes overly so)—a woman who cloaked her femininity in hawkishness and pantsuits. But she had, to use an unfortunate term, likability issues, and she inspired in her detractors an upwelling of sexist animus: She was likened to Tracy Flick for her irritating entitlement, to Lady Macbeth for her boundless ambition. She was a grind, scold, harpy, shrew, priss, teacher’s pet, killjoy—you get the idea. She was repeatedly called a bitch (as in: 'How do we beat the … ') and a buster of balls. Tucker Carlson deemed her 'castrating, overbearing, and scary' and said, memorably, 'Every time I hear Hillary Clinton speak, I involuntarily cross my legs.'"

For me, if Hillary is Tracy Flick of Election, then Palin is Elle Woods (of Legally Blonde or, better yet, of Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde where our main character was working in Washington). She's a well-heeled charmer who doesn't get wrapped up in silly things like policies. Who cares about words and ideas as long as you have enthusiasm and great shoes?

Tracy Flick a.k.a. Hillary Clinton, from IMDB

Elle Woods a.k.a. Sarah Palin, also from IMDB

In both of these roles, Reese Witherspoon is playing charicatures. Of course all public figures become cartoonish to some extent, and so it's not shocking that we align them with similarly two-dimensional characters. But both Tracy Flick and Elle Woods were meant to be laughable. They weren't just exaggerated—they were there for comic relief.

It's beyond obvious who I relate to/side with. Never mind the millllllions of Palin-bashing posts: I call one of them by her first name and the other by her last. But, anti-girl politics aside, some of this S.P. hate stems from the fact that she represents everything girls of our generation were told wouldn't matter for us. We could wear cute dresses to the office and not worry about it helping our hurting our career climb. We could just be women without playing the woman card. (Some of these feelings are highlighted in this Jezebel post by Jessica Grose that I was OBSESSED with. It's also mentioned in the article.)

At the end of her story, the writer gets at that space between bitch and ditz that all ambitious, opinionated women have to navigate, nevermind those 18 million cracks.

"But among the darker revelations of this election is the fact that the vice-grip of female stereotypes remains suffocatingly tight. On the national political stage and in office buildings across the country, women regularly find themselves divided into dualities that are the modern equivalent of the Madonna-whore complex: the hard-ass or the lightweight, the battle-ax or the bubblehead, the serious, pursed-lipped shrew or the silly, ineffectual girl. It is exceedingly difficult to sidestep this trap. Michelle Obama began the campaign as a bold, outspoken woman with a career of her own, and she was called a hard-ass. Now, as she prepares to move into the White House, she appears poised to recede into a fifties-era role of “mom-in-chief.” It will be heartbreaking if, in an effort to avoid the kind of criticism that followed Hillary Clinton, the First Lady is reduced to a lightweight."

The Problem With The Obamas

In an article for The Daily Beast (new fave site...noticed?), Curtis Sittenfeld, a writer crush of mine who penned Prep and most recently American Wife (which is a fictionalized story of Laura Bush...kind like W. in a sense), writes about the problem with the whole wide world being ga-ga for Michelle Obama:

"Now, after almost eight years of Laura-loving, Michelle Obama is about to become our first lady. I’m totally captivated by her, too—and so, it turns out, is everyone else. And though I’d have expected this affirmation of my taste to feel good, frankly, I’m not sure if I like sharing my first-lady-to-be with so many other people.

For a brief moment, I thought that I’d get to have Michelle to myself. Back in June, the media informed us that she was controversial and divisive and could cost her husband votes. The only problem with this argument was that, as far as I can tell, it was a total myth. For an article about Michelle I wrote for Time Magazine in September, I trailed her at the National Democratic Convention, and in advance of my trip to Denver, I began asking everyone I encountered for impressions of her. I got a wide range of reactions—you know, everything from 'I love her!' to 'I fucking love her!' Admittedly, the people I encounter skew toward my own demographic—white twenty- and thirty-something NPR listeners—but at the same time, I live in Missouri, which isn’t exactly a bastion of liberalism.

Of course, Michelle Obama is so charming, so smart and gracious and funny and beautiful, that I have no doubt she’ll soon win over her few detractors. The only question is, do I really want Michelle to accumulate even more fans? I thought that loving Laura Bush was lonely, but in retrospect I’m realizing that maybe I enjoyed my loneliness. I could feel protective of her for being underestimated and I could enjoy the righteous self-satisfaction of being able to see what others couldn’t—it was like being obsessed with an obscure indie band, knowing I was a member of a very exclusive club, whereas loving Michelle Obama is like being a member of Netflix."

This indie band reference is so on point. The thing is, we are part of a generation that came of age in an era of cynicism and niche. We are used to operating as part of the minority even if we're upper middle-class white kids who've had every opportunity. We only have mainstream tastes—Britney, Real Housewives of Atlanta, dodgeball—when we can embrace them ironically. But now, we have a president we believe in—one we like, respect, and ostensibly want to be or do. But in the end everyone else likes him too! It's like we've all bought tickets to some Miley Cyrus arena show thinking she would somehow never make it big. Now it's hard to be cynical, which is, for better or worse, the only world view we know. It's impossible to feel fringe or even especially unique. While it's not fair to call this a problem, I suppose, it's most certainly an identity crisis, and I'm fascinated to see how it & we shake out.

I Hope You Had The Tiiiiiiime Of Your Life

Now, I didn't post this last week because of election overload '08, but now the nostalgia is really settling in. Like, the puppy guessing game has been dominating the news cycle for days, dudes. I long for the times when people "on the trail" would say stupid shit to a group of 43 people outside of the Omaha airport, and we'd hear about it seven minutes later and see video within the hour. This mashup from the folks at Best Week Ever sums up the unforgettable moments of the two-year-long campaign—and it's set to a collection of truly tear-jerking tunes.



I don't know why I remember this, but the class ahead of me in high school chose Greenday's "Time of Your Life" as their graduation song. The well-tanned girls in that class called themselves the senior bitches. That is all.

"The World Is Barren Enough."

Keith Olbermann on Prop 8. I share his near tears.

The Case For Statistics (Like My Endorsement Is Required)

In the days leading up to the election, T was calm and confident. The polls were good! Intrade had it in the bag! And I, on the other hand, was an f-ing wreck. I'd read Politico, Huff Po, The Daily Beast, 538, and Gawker all day and then watch Colbert, Jon Stewart, Rachel Maddow, and the best election team on zee television at night. Now, part of this stems from the fact that I'm an impatient person who just wants things to happen, dammit, no matter how bad that thing's gonna be. But it's also that I don't have nearly enough trust in numbers now that I spend my life in letters. But, alas, Nate Silver has renewed my faith. Check it:

Right now, Barack Obama has 63.7 million popular votes to John McCain's 56.3 million, whereas third party candidates have roughly a collective 1.6 million. That works out to 52.4 percent of the vote for Obama and 46.3 percent for McCain ... conspicuously close to our pre-election estimates of 52.3 percent for Obama and 46.2 percent for McCain.

This was as of last night, and so every last vote hadn't been tallied, but...yah. Sold to the girl in the orange sequins blog.

Arr!

How much better would this photo be if Bristol was a Sexy Pirate?

From Huff Po

On That Whole Nazi Plot Thing

I read Gawker daily, but not because I like it—more because I feel like I have to take it into my system despite the yucky taste. Kinda like multi-vitamins. I generally hate (yah, yah, strong word) most of the bloggers because 1) they don't do their research and 2) they're super self-important (hi, NO ONE CARES that the crappy restaurant around the corner from your place of business got shut down, Sheila).

The one writer I appreciate in those parts? Alex Pareene, who used to be the editor of Wonkette. Because he gets it and has something to say. Por ejemplo, in a post about that whole "let's kill Obama!" plot this week:

"There was a tendency in New York, among liberals used to assuming that the elections are all stolen anyway, to assume the Obama campaign was doomed before it began because of his blackness, plain and simple. There was, similarly, a dark speculation, sometimes in the form of macabre joking, sometimes serious paranoia, that Obama would not survive the campaign if he got too close to the prize. What that didn't take into consideration was that as he looked more and more electable, more people liked him. Honestly, some thought Iowans were more likely to shoot him than vote for him. Then he proved them wrong, and the paranoia lifted, slightly."

This is right-on. Obama's biggest early supporters probably had the least faith in his ability to actually, you know, WIN. Thing is, though, I don't think this was just a liberal New York sentiment. If I recall correctly, I had a convo with K and C when they were visiting about the scary, scary, wtf issues of assassination, and they had the fear coming from Pittsburgh by way of Baton Rouge. Going into this election season, the idea of blue states and red states was stronger than ever, and I, for one, totally bought into those bullshit classifications. When Bush was reelected—and won all of the states he'd won in 2000—it reinforced a sense of divide: These are the people who get it (go, blue!) and these are the ones who don't (sigh, red). It's not that leanings don't exist, of course—it's just that they're not as unbending as they've seemed in the last four years. And that's really refreshing, especially for people who want to vote for Hope but didn't think there was any.

Read the rest of Pareene's post here, and be grateful for what scraps of Gawker smartness remain.

And I Just Picture Kneepads

Can someone please, please PLEASE explain to me the appeal of Jessica Biel?

Because whenever I see her I instantly think: high school volleyball player. Especially when she tries soooooo hard to do sexy face and girly dress. It's like, senior captain goes to prom! Totally awk.

Really, I expect comments on this one. POR FAVOR.

A Makeover Story!

Pres. Barbie from AM NY. Not wearing Valentino. DUUUUUH.From Maureen Dowd on the "sexism" of talking about Sarah Palin's wardrobe:

"It doesn’t wash to cry sexism now any more than it did at the beginning, when the campaign tried to use that dodge to divert attention from Palin’s lacunae in the sort of knowledge you need to run the world. The press has written plenty about the vanities and extravagances of male candidates. (See: Haircuts, John Edwards and Bill Clinton.) Sexism would be to treat Palin differently, or more delicately, than one of the guys."

Now, I was never a huge M.D. fan, but she's done good by this election. Some of her best business of late:

"Sarah's Pompom Palaver": On speakin' homespun

"Vice in Go-Go Boots": On why the Palin nomination should have been on Lifetime

"Keeping It Rielle": On John Edwards' narcissism

"Mr. Darcy Comes Courting": On why Barack Obama is a modern Mr. Darcy (if you haven't read Pride and Prejudice—or seen a Bridget Jones movie—don't bother)

"All About Eve": On Hillary's leetle RFK gaffe

On Hooker Boots

C made a comment on my last Sarah Palin post (of many) about her BF complaining about S.P.'s "hooker boots." In this particular case, I think that's the appropriate term for Miss Veep's footwear of choice—and not because her knee-high boots are sluttier than most. Someone is obviously being paid to style this woman, and that person should be well aware of the societal perceptions of certain pieces of clothing, hairstyles, accessories, etc.—hell, that's why Palin's glasses work for her. They give her the sexy librarian vibe that she's clearly aiming for and couldn't achieve with contacts. By opting to dress a candidate for vice president in shoes dubbed "hooker boots," you are essentially playing into those constructions and insisting that the public view her through that lens: Sarah Palin is sexual! Like a prostitute! I mean, the only other nickname for these kicks is "fuck me boots," which hardly sends a different message. She's not just a woman—a point driven home by the fact that she's usually in a skirt instead of Hillary-esque pantsuits—but one that we're supposed to respond to with testosterone, not thought.

Red Motorcycle Jackets? Really?

Anna Wintour's annual Vogue clothing budget was reportedly something over $50k as of 2003. Sarah Palin's seven-week RNC clothing budget is, wait for it, $150k according to Politico! (Well, that's the spending more like—maybe the budget is higher?) Now, she has to share that with the fam—and Levi's makeover story is worth something—and shops at only suuppppppper down-home/average American stores like Saks and Neiman Marcus.

Worse yet is what she spends all this moolah on. Yes, there's some "I'm Jackie O. for Halloween!" attire, but there's also an abundance of knee-high boots. With take-me-serious suits.


Now, I'm sorry: I always feel a little skeevy when I'm too lazy to put on tights with my boots, and I work in a place where anal sex comes up in meetings. SARAH: WHAT'S WRONG WITH A PAIR OF HEELS? ARE YOU NOT USED TO THE COLD, BEING FROM ALASKA AND ALL?

Pics from Politico too!And then, sigh, there's this. Rather than attempting to explain what this look is (besides shiny!), I will explain where one might wear it: If you were going to your 25th high-school reunion and had moved from a small town to the suburbs of a big city and realllllly wanted to blow the socks off the bass player you made eyes at in geometry, this would be an eyebrow-raiser. Fingers crossed he's a divorcé!

There's a Geniusness About This

Lots of other candidate analogies at Current, but something about this one rings soooo true (and goes beyond comparing Palin to the Fisher-Price version of a plane, train, or automobile).

That Media! And Those Accents!

The British media is so genius. T—who consumes BBC, et al. like bananas thanks to his dad—has been keeping me abreast of the election coverage on the other side of the pond (gag...I hate that expression). And, it's just so good. There's no pandering or pretending we should be impressed that Cindy McCain can talk to a crowd. (Botox affects foreheads, not jaws, duh.)

This op-ed by Matthew Norman that ran in The Indenpendent today is soooo all-around f-ing good, but here's my fave bit (about Tuesday's debate):

"It was visually that this debate really mattered and, while it is too soon to divine public reaction from the polls, one suspects it went a fair way to securing Obama the White House in the absence of monstrous scandal: Barack and Britney caught in flagrante delicto at an Osama bin Laden fundraiser perhaps; Michelle giving OJ Simpson the Black Power salute on visiting day at the penitentiary; Russia unilaterally reviving the Warsaw Pact; or the detonation of a radioactive device on Pennsylvania Avenue."

Speaking of Michelle, did you see her on The Daily Show this week? I can't get enough.

Sarah Palin Signed You Up for Columbia House

Remember Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle? Well, this site (Sarah Palin Is Your New Bicycle's Flat Tire...geniusness) is like that for Sarah Palin. And, duh, because it's directed at S.P., it's all about pure evil!!!

A six-pack so Joe can prep for the evening's debate.

"I Believe Marriage Is Meant To Be A Sacred Institution Between Two Unwilling Teenagers"

SNL does the VP debate. Not that you haven't seen yet.

OMG! I'm Such a Good Debater!

From adennak.com:

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts cause it's true.

What People AREN'T Talking About

But should be.

Courtesy of C.