I crafted a beast of a country music playlist yesterday. I will not defend my musical taste beyond quoting Chuck Klosterman from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs:
"The most wretched people in the world are those who tell you they like every kind of music 'except country.' People who say that are boorish and pretentious at the same time. All it means is that they've managed to figure out the most rudimentary rule of pop sociology; they know that hipsters gauge the coolness of others by their espoused taste in sound, and they know hipsters hate modern country music. And they hate it because it speaks to normal people in a tangible, rational manner. Hipsters hate it because they hate Midwesterners, and they hate Southerners, and they hate people with real jobs."
Wait, I lied. I will also add that what I LIKE about the Dixie Chicks, Tim McGraw, and even Toby Keith is that the lyrics are the foundation. I'm not good with instrumental music (as in, I lose track and fall asleep), and I like stories. Ultimately the point of the lyrics here is to craft a universal experience that everyone can relate to—or, in this particular case, everyone who has seen a corn field can relate to. And that means that standard, dated gender roles obbbvvviiiouuussslly come through—think sweet girl falls for a bad news boy ("Suds in a Bucket" by Sara Evans, "She's in Love with the Boy" by Trish Yearwood).
But when I got to listening to said mix/playlist/whatever Apple wants me to call it, I was floored by all the girl power going on. Like, those girls in cowboy hats are pulling (and have been pulling) on their fuck YOU boots.
We've got screw-you-for-cheating songs:
I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats... I took a Louisville Slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all four tires... Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats"
You should've said no, you should've gone home You should've thought twice before you let it all go You should've know that word, whatcha did with her Get back to me... And I should've been there, in the back of your mind I shouldn't be asking myself why You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet... You should've said no, baby and you might still have me
Taylor Swift's "Should've Said No"
And woman-in-charge songs:
Now my momma told me in this dog-eat-dog world You gotta work harder than a man She'd say, yeah that's just what you need Some romance book Romeo callin' you at work and messin' up your plans
Trick Pony's "On a Night Like This"
I get home 7:30 the house is dirty, but it can wait Yeah, 'cause right now I need some downtime To drink some red wine and celebrate Armageddon could be knocking at my door but I ain't gonna answer thats for sure. There's gotta be something more!
Sugarland's "Something More"
And don't-fuck-with-me songs:
You can say you've got issues You can say you're a victim It's all your parents fault,I mean After all, you didn't pick them Maybe somebody else has got time to listen My give a damn's busted
Well you're therapist says It was all a mistake A product of the Prozac And your codependent ways So, who's your enabler these days My give a damn's busted
Jo Dee Messina's "My Give a Damn's Busted"
I won't be your Friday paycheck I won't be the prize you flaunt And I won't be your Martha Stewart, baby Or your all-night restaurant
But I will, I will, I will be your everything If you make me feel like a woman should I will, I will, I will be the whole shebang You know I will...but
I won't be your crutch to lean on I won't wear stiletto heels I won't walk a mile in your shoes Just so I know how it feels
I won't be your obligation I won't be your Barbie doll I won't be the portrait of perfection To adorn you wall
SheDaisy's "I Will...But"
I'm sure I'm overthinking the significance of this stuff, but I'm still impressed. So there.
It took me until 2008 to realize that writing things on the internet doesn't (necessarily) make you the most annoying person in the universe. Then my friend had a dream that I had a blog where I posted a photo of myself in an orange sequined dress. Hot.
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