He Is Not Your Plaything!

Today's NYT Thursday Styles has an article today about a computer program that mathematically reconfigures peoples' faces to make them more "beautiful," i.e. more symmetrical, with eyes set apart just so and a chin/forehead of a particular proportion. This is one of those articles that is sooooooo Thursday Styles because, upon reading it, you realize it's basically about nothing. But wait! There's an accompanying slideshow, and WTF what did they do to Michael Cera?

Left is real M.C., middle is partially "beautified," and right is fully dolled up. And, yes, dolled up is right. He looks like a cherub. Or My Buddy. LEAVE. HIM. ALONE.